Your prayers for love going unanswered? What God might be teaching you

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As a woman of God, I'm constantly asking myself why I feel so ignored or unseen by guys. Do I have something stuck in my teeth? Or a booger in my nose? Even when I'm not trying to be the perfect girl, I've never really felt worthy since a young age. What God has been teaching me recently though, is that I'm MEANT to be hidden, because I'm supposed to be found. Crazy I used to think this was male repellent, but now I see it as God's divine protection. Proverbs 18:22 says,"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." This verse is God saying to men not to treat their good thing as common, but treat them as the treasure that they are and favor will be obtained by God in the process. If you've dealt with guys in the past who treated you terribly, rest assured that that is not what God wants for you. According to the bible, husbands are called to lead, provide and honor you, not hurt or inflict pain. Growing up never having a father figure, I distorted what being a husband meant, and assumed it was all about sex, but God is showing me that biblical marriage is even more beautiful beyond that and if I wanted to be apart of something like that, I knew I needed to start looking at myself as the treasure I am and fall in love with the Lord first.

To put it simply, not all attention is good attention. Not everyone values the same things, which means some people are going to overlook you. Let's say a man who is knowledgeable about diamonds knows the importance of the 4C's, cut, color, clarity and carat. It will determine which ring he decides to buy that best fits his fiancé, but a man who doesn't see the worth in researching, won't find it important and get the cheapest one. That doesn't make the rings they didn't choose any less valuable. If you are the diamond, who cares if 100 worldly or lukewarm men are staring at you through the glass window at the mall, if they're all lustful and have bad intentions, what does it matter if they come in to see you or not. All it takes is one guy to glance through, walk in, see you the way that God sees you and pursue with intentionality. If it takes months or years for that to happen, so what? Rejoice in knowing that God is hiding you so that the right one can find you. It's quality over quantity, and anything with quality takes time to produce.

It's funny how someone can tell us we're worthless and we'll believe it so easily, yet if objects could talk like shoes, wedding rings, or play stations, they'd be like okay that person doesn't want me, but I know someone will because they'll understand my value. Rejection from the wrong person is a redirection for the right one. Objects don't take it personally, so neither should we. Fashion people will tell you. Some people don't see the value in shopping ethically, and will get whatever is the cheapest, even though it has damaging effects to the environment. This should be our thinking when it comes to discerning our future partner. We could take the cheapest option because it's convenient, or wait on God's timing to bring us the real deal. Which one are you choosing?

Isaiah 53:3 says,"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like someone people turned away from, he was despised and we didn't value him." Reading this verse made me realize just how overlooked Jesus was too. People turned away and didn't value him, even though he was the greatest gift to all. He endured sickness for our healing, he suffered loneliness for our redemption and withstood wounds for our comfort. I actually have no idea what it feels like to be as unseen as Jesus was. But it's a reminder that not everyone will see you and accept you and that doesn't make you unworthy. When our identity is found in Jesus, we can listen to what He says about us and not what the world says. He says we are chosen, loved, forgiven and redeemed. He sees the value in us, and that is enough.

Thankfully our worth isn't in how much we'd cost if we were real treasure, but it's rooted in our Father, who created us and everything under the sun. So cast your cares on Jesus. Fall in love with your creator because nothing in this world will truly sustain you. I promise if we don't change our perspective, 20 years will pass by, we're married with 3 kids and realize that this dream of ours wasn't really the start to our lives or the end and we'll miss the seasons we can't go back to and wish we appreciated them more. Each era will bring its own set of problems, so enjoy the season God has you in now.

"If i'm supposed to be hidden, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

1. Sit in the uncomfortability of being single and sit in your feelings, it'll feel like withdrawal, but instead of moving based on how you feel, journal, pray and just sit in the uncomfortableness. God might be training you to hear His voice. You can't do that if you're always looking for a way out or a way to distract yourself from feeling.

2. Pray that God give you an attitude to serve, pursue your purpose and glorify Him in everything you do and ask what that looks like for you. When you wake up, let Him get in your head before you do, because how we feel determines how we spend our days.

3. Ask God "to stamp eternity on your eyeballs." You're not going to be married in heaven and eternal life is the end goal, not marriage, not kids and not any other desires. So focus more on building your relationship with God, it's more important than the 80 something years you'll be on this earth.

4. Not only pray for wisdom but how you can apply it to your life. Ask for the right words to use while praying over your future spouse. In this season right now, what could they need prayer for? Seek God and He'll instruct you on what to do.

In conclusion, it's all a mindset switch. How you are treated doesn't change how God views you. In John 14:6 Jesus says,"I am the way, and the truth and the life." God in all his ways and works and words is truth. He doesn't lie or make mistakes. So we can trust that in all things He works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Your fairytale ending isn't marriage, kids and a picket fence, it is eternal life with Jesus, where there's no trauma, hurt, sadness, lies, division or destruction. That is what my eyes are on, what about you?