So.. what's all the hype about? My Testimony

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Hey guys! Okay I gotta be real. I've been a lukewarm christian most of my life. When it came to voicing my love for God it was easy but I never truly understood what it meant to "walk with Jesus" someone who actually practices the way of Jesus. It took me 19 years to realize that He'd never leave me and I'm so thankful I stuck it out when things got hard. I was dealing with depression, attachment and self esteem issues. I felt like I had no one. I had a terrible relationship with my parents and had no friends. I craved attention from anyone and it made me extremely insecure.

I started dating this guy senior year of high school and my life became him, unintentionally. I realized I had no life, I lost my creative buzz. I was a fashion girly in high school, different colored braids every month, wore custom clothing, cool jewelry and a full face of makeup everyday because I craved that title. People knew me as that girl. When I started dating this guy, he rubbed off on me. I let go of apart of myself unintentionally and it's like I became boring. I became..a generic, normal girlfriend. It effected how I saw myself and who I chose to identify myself as.

Fast forward, we're 19, and life didn't felt like it was getting better for me. I had a rug business for almost 2 years and was slowly despising it because it felt like a chore making custom orders of rugs I didn't want to make and then the rugs I loved weren't selling. I felt like I was slowly spiraling back into a depressive state. I moved out to escape my family, bills were high, the tension between them was thick, and all I had was my boyfriend to keep me sane. To make matters worse, not even a month into my new place, I got demoted from my job out of nowhere and never felt more scared. But in my soon to be spiral, I heard God calling on me to give it all to Him, the hurt and the baggage. I found someone that changed the game entirely: a genuine relationship with God.

I know people talk about it a lot, but I never understood the hype either until I experienced it myself. I now find my identity in Him, no more about who I'm with or what I wear. I don't have to prove myself. My outward expression isn't coming from outside opinions anymore, it's coming from my own personal relationship with Christ. When I decided to take Him seriously in January, I had to develop a new mindset, and believe that He wouldn't leave me because of the mistakes I've made but help me persevere into a whole new woman, and He certainly did. I gave my life to Jesus knowing about him but not truly knowing him and now He is my best friend; in case someone feels like you have to know everything there is to walking with Jesus before you start doing it. You don't. You just start wherever you are now.

Sometimes locking in with God isn't like deciding to finally get an oil change you've been holding off on, it's usually an experience you face that humbles you and makes you realize you can't do life by yourself, so you need someone's help, and who better would it be if the one to help you was perfect in all of His ways.

When I gave my life to God, it wasn't like everything magically got better overnight, but I started to feel this peace I never thought possible. It's like I had someone with me who truly understood all the darkness I was carrying and who actually cared enough to help me remove it. With Him, I found a sense of purpose and strength to push through the tough times and now even in the hard days, I don't feel like I'm drowning in my own mind anymore.

The best part? It's not even about being perfect or having everything figured out. It's about being real with God and letting Him be there for you no matter what. There's a deep peace that comes from knowing you're loved unconditionally, that your worth isn't based on how others perceive you.

It's been like a year since that day and a lot has happened, but I wouldn't take anything back because it's all been worth it. He changed my life. He changed my story. I'm not giving up on Him because He's never given up on me, even when I was in my sin, so you can't either. Let's fight the good fight of the faith. (1 Timothy 6:12)